To this day I cannot resist the draw of the holidays. I credit this to my parents, who shared with us their own childlike nature during this festive time. The anticipation heightened as they eagerly roasted the turkey, made holiday treats, lit the lights, whispered about the presents, and spent time with family. Even when there were tough times—the death of a loved one, illnesses, family issues—my mother would always say that life goes on. An elephant may have made its way into our holiday party, but we would continue our beloved traditions year after year, in spite of it, around it, over it, or through it.

As with years past, so many of us are strategizing on what to do with the Elephant who has come to our party. We wonder if we can ignore it, or perhaps put its meaning into perspective so that we find our way to having a nice time as we gather for our important traditions. We wonder how, or if, we can focus on what is still important to us—to embrace and even cherish it.

An elephant in the party room can mean different things to different people. For some, the Elephant is amazingly wonderful in their lives. For others, not so great. Whatever the Elephant means at your party, it is generally unmentionable and disruptive in some way. What can we do in these circumstances when we are simply hoping to have a good time together? Here are some ideas that came to mind for me. I wonder if one of these would work for you.

My first thought was to dress it up! Strangely, an old adage popped into my head. When you’re nervous about making a speech, imagine your audience naked. In this case, if you’re going to a party and you’re nervous about that elephant in the room, dress it up and give it a new persona. Perhaps it could be a baby elephant frolicking around having a great time, or an older and wiser elephant with a magician’s cape and wand bringing that air of maturity and magic. Since I love glittery things, I pictured an elephant dressed in a tiara, jewels, and finery. You gotta love a regal elephant!

My second thought was to picture Ganesha, the elephant-headed God. I know very little about Hindu gods, so it’s interesting to me that the image of Ganesha, whose name I didn’t know, popped into my head. It came to me with good reason, as I found in my research. Ganesha is the Hindu god of success. He propels mankind forward on the eternal path and removes obstacles from the way. He is often shown with a noose in his upper left hand, a gentle implement to capture all difficulties. The sweets he holds in his trunk represent the sweetness of the Atman—the true eternal self. When obstacles and difficulties are removed, we can see our true selves. He also shows us that we are more than we perceive on this earthly plane, that with our true self we can rise above to see the larger picture of life.  Imagine what we can learn from this vantage point.

My third thought was to use my Medicine Cards for guidance because they are so helpful when you’re in your head and can’t hear your wise inner voice. The card I received was the Wolf. While there were many messages that were meaningful for me about the spirit of the Wolf, the one that was most important was the idea that humans and wolves have both a strong sense of family and strong individualistic urges. This means we can be part of society and still hold onto our individual dreams and ideas. And for me, this was essential! I can be a part of my tribe—embracing our differences and commonalities—by sharing love, setting healthy boundaries, and being sensitive to others and true to myself.

The Elephant at the party is difficult to ignore. After all, it’s really big! What if we chose not to ignore it, but to look toward it to see what it might teach us about ourselves and what is possible? Life is complex. People are complex. In the spirit of the holidays, perhaps the Elephant can be our biggest ally as we navigate our relationships and walk a path that serves the highest good for all.